playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
