help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
