I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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