So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Quick, to the slutcave!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
