It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
