i permit you to call me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
