I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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