So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
