do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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