You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
