saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
