oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
