OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
