its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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