her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
