I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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