he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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