Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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