Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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