Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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