i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
