Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
