Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
