Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
