There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
