Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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