Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize