I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
