I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm always down for nudity.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
