He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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