He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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