you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
