Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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