I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
