Who wears a wallet chain?!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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