All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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