There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
