So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
