So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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