the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
