i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
