You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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