Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
