um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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