two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
