When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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