Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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