I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Let's get the cat blown out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
