wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
