it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
