Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
