Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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