the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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