just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
