You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
