And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
