I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
