mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
