Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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