I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize