I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
